my nothing became my everything.


the boy? you ask.
the boy that use to fill my life faded.
swiftly and in slow motion at all the same time.

I look back on the moment I said goodbye and wondered,
"did I know all along? that this would end? did my heart say goodbye long before my head?"

now we have separate lives.
filled with the people of our choosing.

when I see you in passing our eyes meet for a moments breath.
time stands still and we relive those stolen kisses and sly smiles.

{those lips that belong to someone else now.
the ones I use to know perfectly.
are now just a fuzzy memory.}

when time snaps into place,
you nod.
I nod.
silently acknowledging what once was.
and will never be.

It's a strange thing how someone who was everything becomes your nothing all at once.
and the person who is everything was always once your nothing.

now I'm with my everything.
and you are with yours.
it can take a lifetime to find your everything.
I'm just content that I found mind.


we meet again.


we meet again.

even thought time has grown and so have we,
we meet together like old friends with lots of familiarity.

still the same.
totally different.
appearances have shifted some.

[where did I go?]
I was never truly gone.
just lost in the thoughts and dreams of my unstopped mind.

they were bottled up for far too long. 
they started leaking long ago.

so I let them out.
and now I'm left to stitch them back again.

I'll smile at you,
you'll smile at me.
knowing the years have passed.

silently acknowledging the settlement of our new relationship.
however unhealthy it may be.
I'll always come back for words.
that's a promise.

so here we are,
two fast friends just living this thing we call life.

lets share some words, pick up where we left off.
and tell our life some more.


hearts content.

joy. happiness. warmth. pleasure. gratification.
those are the feelings that settle in after a long day of contentment.

like when you watch the passing cars.
almost feeling what they hold when they pass by.
you're content.
just letting the air swish you where it may.

the moment a smile touches your lips.
when you can't help it.
when it is repressed.

the satisfaction that cross someone else's face.
contentment blossoms.
leaving a deep soothe.

being content is a simple pleasure.
one that requires simple efforts and scattered thoughts.

are you content?
i am content.


the sea.

the sea, it stands between you and me.
slowly kissing the shore.
you breathe, and i take a sigh.
both knowing we wanted more.

you utter something that i can't quite hear.
it slips over the expanse of the sea.
i just wave in a pathetic attempt.
musing over thoughts of what could be.

the mist brushes my face and the salt burns my throat.
dripping down the coast for you.
swaying in and out of the tides.
tonight, let me be one with its blue. 

i try to cross the cresting water to you.
but the current drags me far too deep.
a tear gets swallowed by the sea,
and all i can find to do is weep.

the sea, it will always stand between you and me.
slowly kissing the shore.
you breathe, and i take a sigh.
both knowing we wanted more.



oh you laugh like i'll be there to hold you always
always here
i'm aways here, always here.


temporary goodbye.

i guess it all started the day you left. i knew you had to leave. nothing was going to stop it, and nothing could have prevented it. i had been counting down to that moment for what felt like eons.

i approached your door hesitantly, with tears threatening to sting my eyes. as i rang the doorbell i could hear your heavy feet dragging closer through the glass door frame, until finally it opened.

you stood perfectly there in the doorframe; sleep still across your face. you were in those basketball shorts that i loved so much, and a striped v neck t-shirt. i couldn't get over the fact that your hair was messed up in all the right places. you were still mine for as long as i could hold on to you for.

you pulled me inside and brought me to the couch. you just held me in your arms not speaking, and for the moment i felt safe. i felt as if time froze and that nothing could take you away from me. it was perfect. i tried to burn the memory into my brain to save it for when i really needed it. now that i look back, the memory is a bit jagged at the edges. i can't quite recall the feel of your fingertips dusting my face, or what crooked smile you had plastered on. even though i recognize you in pictures, your face is a bit fuzzy in that burned memory.

as time regained its normal speed it was time for me to go. you looked at me with your dark glazed eyes and i knew it was goodbye. you pressed your lips to mine and it was perfect. your lips were made for mine. it was all too soon when you pulled away. your eyes couldn't quite reach mine as you muttered that you loved me.

i placed my heart in your hands and left. i didn't dare let you see my tears slip. you said our goodbye wouldn't be forever, and i know it won't. you'll come back when the time is right. i don't mind that your gone.

i just mind that it's the last time i was truly loved.
by anyone.


when you can't sleep at night.

"pretty little lady with the swollen eyes, would you show them to me?
i know i'm not perfect, but just stay awhile 
baby, then you will see...

miles away i can still feel you lay your head down on my embrace, my embrace.
far away...

don't give up baby i know that its shaky, just let love consume us."